Sunday, February 27, 2011

I'm jealous

Okay so yesterday I was in the grocery store and I randomly looked at a women's cart and I felt a stab of jealousy. Her cart was full of processed foods. I was jealous because next to her was her son. She was a mom and her cart was full of Mac and cheese, oreos, and bunches of other crap.

Yes i was jealous. Not of the "foods" she had but of the carefree nature of the cart. That mom did not think she just dumped. Her concern, can i afford is? Will we eat this? Not will this hurt my child. I don't mean to sound hateful but yes for a minute I was green with jealousy.

I never pictured my life with food allergies. When DH's food allergy test came back with wheat and yeast (among other things), I was upset. It meant a change in our diet. We tried to go totally wheat free but 8 years ago the wheat free food was hard to find and it was mostly horrible. So DH just dealt with the pain. As a grown man he can choose to eat what he wants so our diet didn't change as much as it should of. Basically we would go wheat free when his allergies were just too much.

So it was part of our lives but not the focus. I totally never thought my children would have to deal with allergies. I mean DH was 25 before his allergies were 'discovered.'. So when Audrey was screaming in pain nightly at 3 weeks old, I discovered a new phase in my life, the wheatless phase.

As long as I am breastfeeding I am wheat-free. That might be two years maybe four tops depending on when Audrey totally weans but I'll be a concerned label reading mama for the rest of my life. I'll always have to ask what is in that before Audrey eats it. I won't have that carefree grocery cart, I don't think i'll ever have that carefree cart. So yes I was jealous. I love Audrey and DH and that means I'll always have a semi-wheat-free life. But if my choices are bread and Oreos or Audrey and DH then I'll never eat and oreo again.