Sunday, February 13, 2011

Where have all the friends gone?

So back when I was Martha and not Audrey's mom, I had a tight circle of friends and one of the shows we loved to watch was Sex and the City.  I loved the idea of moving to the city and going to cool places that were on the show and then I went to New York and realized that I'm such a small town girl it is not even funny.  You couldn't even find the sun! 
But anyways, I remember the episode after Miranda had her baby and her struggle to be a new mom and the isolation she felt since she was in a different place from her friends.  I think it's been pretty clear thru my blogging that isolation is a pretty constant feeling in my life.  It has seemed that since Audrey's birth, I stopped being Martha.  I don't think I'll ever forget how alone I felt after Audrey's birth.  People who promised to visit never came by and I know people were afraid to call since they were afraid to wake the baby.  I was so overwhelmed with being a new mom that I didn't pick the phone up either. 
But it did get better.  I started back to work and go to see my "work friends" and then after a while I found the Triad Tot Totters.  I finally felt like I had friends, people that understood me.  The TTT's were truly a God-send.  They are mommas who kinda had the same baby raising philosophy as me and they were people that I could meet up with.  While I had found a very supportive on-line network of moms there is no substitute for meeting up with people in real-life.  Leaving my new group of friends was the worst part of moving to Texas.  It was the part that scared me the most.  Could I ever find mommas like me in Deep East Texas?
I'm so happy that I have been able to find a group to hang with here.  They are women that I've met thru La Leche League and again they are a God-send.  After almost 8 months in Texas, I'm beginning to feel like I have friends.  People that I can get together with and hang out.  People that have babies for Audrey to play with. 
But one problem I am still struggling with is balance and finding time for old friends.  I get just a few minutes to play with my iPhone to tweet and facebook and keep up with friends but really they deserve better than that.  The few friends that I have left deserve more attention than a few second tweet.  It is so hard to find the time.  When I blog it is usually a four day process via my iPhone app so it's not like there is really much time that I have just to email but I think the really problem is the phone.  I hate talking on the phone!  I hate calling people because it feels like I'm interrupting something important and if I make a plan to call someone then that will be the time that Audrey gets super needy.  I feel like I'm in a new win situation.   Thankfully since they are in fact friends, they understand and they deal with my negligent of them; they know I care but that I'm mostly an ass and a mom.  They are the best and one day I'll have time and money to visit them all again.  I miss living near my bestests friends but it is good to know that they have not left me, they have like always just learned to deal with me.  Those "friends" that have fallen off have gone on to better friends, people who have time for them and their life, those true friends that are still around have taught me that patience and understanding are the building blocks of life-long friendship.