Thursday, July 28, 2011

Bittersweet Birthday

Today is Baby J's first birthday, which means it's Brianna's one year death anniversery.  As DH said, it's a bittersweet day.  When I realized what today was I had to hold back tears.  DH also pointed out how many almost bittersweet birthdays there are in our families.  He almost had a bittersweet birthday; his nephew and my brothers' too. 

I know prior to Audrey's birth, DH's father was very worried about my survival of a homebirth.  Both of his parent's mother's died in or right after childbirth.  Childbirth is natural and death is natural but that doesn't mean we don't worry. 

Today I say a prayer for all of the people with bittersweet birthdays.  Today I also plan to give my Audrey extra hugs and kisses.  I want to live to give thanks to God for Audrey and for the opportunity to raise her.  Instead of getting mad that she won't go to sleep or that she knocked my glasses off my face, I'll smile and thank God.  I know not all of us get the chance to complain about sleeplessness.  So here's to you Brianna.  With your life you taught me to be kind to the least of God's children and with your death you taught me to be grateful for each day.  Happy Birthday Baby J.