Sunday, April 15, 2012

I just want to be even

So DH and I were talking yesterday and the subject of the future came up as it tends to do.  The question of ultimately what are we working towards being the number one thing.  When we were young and stupid (oh wait I did say young) we wanted to be millionaires by the time we were 30.  We're in our 30s are dirt poor so that goal changed along the way.  We wanted a huge family.  We only have one kid and it seems at this rate if we are lucky enough to have another one we'll be doing good.   So where are we and were are we going?
The other day I heard "I want to be rich" by Calloway and the thought came to me that I don't want to be rich.  Honestly, Biggie had it right, Mo' Money Mo' Problems!  I just want to be even.  I want enough money to pay our bills.  I don't need anything fancy.  I don't care if I never have a new car.  I don't need a house with a white picket fence.  Heck, I'm okay if I never get an iPad (and yes I do want an iPad, I have a birthday coming up if you want to give me your old used one :)).  I just want to be able to pay our bills every month and be able to have a little bit on hand in case of an emergency.  I just want to be even.
Right now we are far from even.  Now that I'm not working, we struggling.  It's okay.  I don't like this position but I know God is working on me.  I know that I'm learning a lot about what is really important in life.  While I've never been a super materialist person, I did become change.  I developed a taste for electronics and sushi.  I'm getting better.  My life right now isn't perfect but I'm happier now than I have been in a while.  I'm feeling at peace.  So maybe I'm poor but God has got this.